I picked five raspberries in the back garden this morning. We've had below freezing nights, but not enough to stop production completely. These may be the last, though, as the combination of some cold and simple lateness of the season is causing the canes to shed leaves and shut down. For similar reasons, I wiped down patio furniture and brought it into storage, not because it was necessary yet but just on the basis of the calendar.

Meanwhile, neighbors behind us and to the east spent the morning revving a chainsaw. I didn't see any trees falling, so I'm not sure what that was about. There used to be published guides for social behavior; maybe we need new ones of those, like:

( Letter to the obliterator )

Sometimes I can feel ideas approaching. I try to get out of their way, but it's no use. It's especially bad when I'm out for a walk with nothing to do but think of...things. This one has all the wit and logic that's usually associated with elephant jokes.

What do you get if you combine Buffy Sommers and( ... )

While browsing Toronto jobs on LinkedIn, I ran across someone pimping what appears to be a make-a-fortune-from-home MLM scheme. The product involved is called healthy chocolate. The reason one should be convinced of the product's value is, "This is a natural product with many health benefits, which is backed by clinical studies and science."

Yay, science!

On Twitter, I'm following a feed that tells me what new music books become available through amazon.com. The latest set of messages are about Hal Leonard Corporation publishing instructional books and CDs based on the music of Elvis Presley. I'm pretty sure I don't need Elvis for cello, violin, or tenor sax. I wonder how big that market could possibly be.

Edit: To clarify, that's one book per instrument, and I'm told there's a clarinet one too.

I've found that flipping pages in a song book and trying to play whatever chord progressions come up lets me get some guitar practice even when my creative energy is non-existent. In that mood, I came across Teen Angel. I've always been bothered by the song without thinking too much of why...and not just for its idiot plot.

( Far more analysis than the subject deserves )

Of course, the real point of this is that a song should be consistent about its setting and its references to people and things. The other point is that you can break those rules and still make a fortune in royalties. [sigh]

Apparently my brain has had enough of writing parody lyrics for now. The last few attempts have gone nowhere, and the beating of dead horses has never appealed to me. (Hmmm. The Tell-Tale Horse?)

Anyway, I learned a few new tricks and life can now go back to my current version of normal. For anyone masochistic enough -- who may still be reading -- here are some ideas and snippets that didn't get a full song treatment:

( Bits and pieces )

I was distracted during the early morning, too tired around lunch time, and am currently uninspired. Tonight involves Flash Forward, if nothing else. If the parody string continues today, it will be a surprise to me.

On the other hand, I just have to share a line from an old song, one I've been familiar with for over forty years, yet one that I never considered before in a literal way:
"If I had my choice of matter, I would rather be with cats."

I'm not sure which is more interesting, choosing matter or being with cats, but doesn't that just call out for...something?

The dysfunctional family of the Stewards of Gondor in The Lord of the Rings has interested me for a long time. This barely scratches the surface.

(The original song here is another that's fun to play with, having both internal rhymes and bits of assonance that make for almost rhymes.)

( A song for Faramir )

I find it difficult to write any filk material about computers. There are so many possibilities that I always worry about the problem of going off into extreme esoterica vs. restating the obvious. This time I went for obvious.

( Parts sourced )

Last night I had a couple of song ideas come to me that were connected to Babylon 5's first season and "that question". So I just had to watch Signs and Portents and Chrysalis again to get the details right -- a "please don't throw me into that briar patch" moment if I've ever seen one.

Once again, this is a song that doesn't need much of a change to fit into a different universe; impressing one's peers is powerful motivation whether they're high school students or nobles of the Empire.

( Don't worry )

This is not a parody, at least not yet. It's also not for Tolkien purists...or any other kind.

( Unwarranted speculation )

I admit that this is silly and mostly pointless, but I was hooked the moment I thought about the substitutions in the refrain. It then became something of an exercise in seeing how few changes I could make.

( Mirkwood )

Another thing I'm learning about this is that it's a good idea to figure out how repeats are going to work before getting too carried away with verses. When there's a single line that's clumsy, I tell myself that it can be fixed with an edit -- and that's very probably true. When it's the chorus, a refrain, or just a phrase that gets used frequently, if it doesn't fit in all its contexts, I find the result unsatisfying and a bigger structural problem.

( Preying On Our Kind )

I wasn't sure there would be an entry today. Then I noticed a comment on Twitter that gave me an immediate phrase substitution (thanks, andpuff). The parody is short and simple, and you should all be grateful that it doesn't involve explicit hamburger erotica -- no, I can't explain that because I don't understand it myself.

( Golden Arches )

In spite of how extremely quickly this fell into place this morning I think I...ummm, like it.

It is purely a work of fiction. :-)

( Killing Her Slowly )

Someone on Twitter referenced a book called "PHP fur Dummies". After a moment (and a double-take), I realized that this was a German edition and that there was a missing umlaut in the quoted name.

Well, OK, but doesn't the German language have a word for 'dummies'?

This time it does count.

( Have you ever... (take 2) )
Hands up, all of you who thought I could resist completing this.

A few lessons from this morning:
- It's not easy to parody a song that has many common variations on the words; you keep second-guessing your own scansion.
- Songs with short phrases are tougher than they look because you need to shoehorn ideas into tiny spaces.
- If you can't think of the rhyme you need, go take a shower. :-)

( Soul Man )

When the going gets tough, the tough return to Middle-Earth. (a.k.a. Things We Do At Lunch ... hmmmm, adds that to list of future possibilities.)

As a reminder (or for people tuning in late), the point of this is not quality, but to produce stuff that can be edited later. :-)

( Secret Key )

Something that I find makes parody-writing a little easier is: take the original words, identify where the writer used internal rhymes, and split the lines in a text editor so that those become end-of-line rhymes visually. It's then simpler to remember where rhyming words need to go, and how the scansion needs to flow in order to lead into those words.

( Tenderloins )

I got one verse while eating lunch and then gave up, partly because it wasn't going anywhere and partly because I didn't like the idea that it might go somewhere.

( Have you ever... )

Often ideas come from a single line. In this case, it was a single word: 'pine'.

( Dracula... )

Took a short afternoon walk to the grocery store, and going for a walk is one of the surest ways for me to have "something" come to mind. Plus, I figure it's a good idea to start out a little ahead of schedule.

( Rings )

...actually, there's no question. I have now listened once, all the way through, to the new CD by toyboatband and I like it very much.

This is strong rock 'n' roll and fun music to have playing. (Well, OK, Uplift isn't exactly 'fun', but it is well done.) The production seems very clean, with the vocals standing out nicely.... Yay for lyrics! I'll probably change my mind next time I listen, but for now I'm picking my favorite tracks as Reach For The Stars, Pool Hall At The End Of The Universe, and the Hellraiser cover. (I could have included Banned From Argo in the list, but I've seen Toyboat do that live a couple of times and the CD suffers from not including visuals of Eric's performance. :-) )